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Thursday, October 28th, 2010

[speak your mind]

Subject:Applying for A French Visa
Posted by:satin_blindfold.
Time:8:06 pm.
 Hi guys! I'm looking for anyone who has insight into how France decides whom to give visas to.

I'm a U.S. citizen. I'm going to apply for a long stay visa so that I can live with my girlfriend in France...but I'm also still married. My spouse knows and this isn't any sort of illicit affair. I was planning to simply tell the French authorities that I am separated. Any idea whether or not this will cause then to hesitate to grant my visa application, especially since my girlfriend and I are a same sex couple? The alternatives we've come up with would be to say that I'm going to live with a friend, or that I'm going to learn French (the girlfriend is a licensed teacher of French as a foreign language). Both of these alternatives seem like they would be worse because it would probably seem really peculiar that a woman was leaving her husband to live in a different country for a whole year.



Monday, March 22nd, 2010

[speak your mind]

Posted by:mind_the_tardis.
Time:3:46 pm.

Just found this comm, and thought I would introduce myself. I'm a U.S. citizen just starting out in a relationship with a German citizen who's currently studying in the UK. We don't yet know if we'll reach the point where we want to live together permanently in one country (though I think we're very strongly leaning in that direction), but we've started doing research into what it would take to manage that, if we do.

Glad to see there's a community here on LJ on the issue. I took part in the March for America in DC yesterday, as part of a group with Immigration Equality (an LGBTQ-immigration-focused organization), and it was a pleasure to be able to talk about my concerns with other people who have partners abroad, for years or just starting out.

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

[speak your mind]

Subject:proof of finances question
Posted by:this_bugs_4_you.
Time:12:33 am.
hi all!

my partner has her long-awaited visa interview at the u.s. consulate in buenos aires in about two weeks (yay!!!) and i have a quick question about how she can prove her finances.

details:  she has about $5000 US, which i really feel like would be useful to proove in her interview, but she has it in CASH.  because: it's actually my money, which i took out from my bank in the states before coming down here recently for her interview.  for the same reason, she doesn't really have enough time to open a bank account here, deposit the money, and get an official balance statement.  (trust me, we tried to get a bank statement a few years back for her tourist visa interview and it was HORRENDOUSLY difficult!)

so just out of total curiosity...anyone have any idea how she could go about proving the ownership of this money during the interview?  aside from taking the sock with all the cash stuffed in it along with her....

x-posted and GRACIAS!!

Sunday, July 20th, 2008

[speak your mind]

Subject:Obama Pride - Video Collage
Posted by:queerunity.
Time:5:06 pm.
Collage of videos demonstrating Obama's commitment to the Queer community!

Tuesday, May 6th, 2008

[speak your mind]

Subject:Introducing Queers United
Posted by:queerunity.
Time:11:06 am.
The activist blog with action alerts for the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Asexual, and Intersexual community!


Sunday, February 3rd, 2008

[speak your mind]

Subject:to get hitched or not to get hitched
Posted by:this_bugs_4_you.
Time:11:20 pm.
hi everyone!

i am at the very beginningest stages of becoming bound towards canada--just realizing we might have enough points to start the application! my partner and i are planning to begin the application process later this year. but before that, we are hoping to take a trip to canada just as a vacation, and also hopefully see some friends and family of mine who could come up to the states to meet my partner (she can't get in there).

so here's the question--i know that anyone can get married in canada, whether you are a resident or not. so, do you think it would be helpful or harmful to our future application for residency to get married while there on vacation? i can't figure out if it would be a nice extra piece of evidence in proving that we are a couple, or if it might be kind of odd that we did it there before actually living there and thus annoying to The Government. you never know when it could be having PMS or just a bad day and not like something :(....

any thoughts? i really appreciate it! and in the meantime send us good vibes to be able to get her a visitor's visa to canada. i naively think of it as more possible than a visitor's visa to the states, but like i say...i'm naive.

warning: x-posted everywhere!

thank you!!!

Monday, December 25th, 2006

[2 outspoken visitors | speak your mind]

Subject:Lesbians of Mass Destruction: A Review
Posted by:copperphoenix.
Time:10:09 pm.
(x-posted lots of places)

An article rebutting conservative arguments against gay marriage appeared on slate.com a little while ago. My position is pro alternative family - I'd like one of my own some day - so I thought I'd review the article.

Lesbians of Mass Destruction from slate.com

William Saletan does an effective job of rebutting the moralists when it comes to same-sex couples and parenting. The ever-conservative Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter has been making headlines again for deliberately getting pregnant with the intention of raising the child with her long-time partner, angering moralist groups, which has apparently provoked Saletan to write this article. He refers to the sixty-seven abstracts on family research by the American Psychology Association and provides the reader with all the references necessary to give his article a strong factual foundation.

If you don't want to read the article, I've summarized ithereCollapse )

I'll start with the last bit of the article first, since Saletan mentions some conservative views that particularly anger me. First of all, while there are those who claim pedophilia is a sexual orientation in itself, as opposed to a disorder, putting it in the same group as homosexuality is simply a way to discredit the gay lifestyle - pedophilia violates age of consent laws, which we have for a reason, and can have lasting, life-long traumatic consequences for the child involved. Homosexual acts take place between consenting adults, and do not harm or traumatize those involved. As for homosexuals being most likely to have STD's, lesbians are in the lowest-risk group for STD's (as far as we know - the body of research on the subject is still quite small), and while AIDS is still very much associated with the gay male community, it is extremely difficult to get an accurate representation of the STD numbers in the queer population because of the wish of many individuals to be private and discreet about their sex lives. It is unfortunate that Saletan does not mentions these facts in his article.

Instead of beginning his article with references to studies on parenting, it might have been more advantageous for Saletan to begin by listing the arguments against gay parenting, citing any evidence in their favor, and then citing arguments for gay parenting, along with supporting research. However, the author takes a more conversational approach for the general public, and scores points with the reader for amusing comparisons and a few well-placed remarks, such as "if you want every child to have the benefit of two parents, you're picking on the wrong Cheney. Mary's sister, Liz, just had her fifth kid. All things being equal, Liz's baby will get one-fifth as much parental attention as Mary's will get. But nobody complains about that."

Saletan needs to re-examine his analysis of the argument against the premise that "on average, children do best when raised by their two married, biological parents." Saletan's rebuttal to this argument is one of the few places where he does not cite research to back up his claims. He writes that two parents are better than one, and that married parents are better than unmarried parents, which I would call conventional wisdom, but it is essential to cite sources in a case like this where so-called "conventional wisdom" may be challenged. Saletan does attempt to use logic to defeat the argument. While I agree with his reasoning, I do not think he got to the root of why this moralist argument seems convincing at first glance. The research shows that children do better with biological parents than non-biological parents, one needs to ask why. Is it in fact because in the majority of cases that were researched, the non-biological parent joined the family at a later time, when the child or children were older, creating tension and domestic problems? What about heterosexual parents that adopt their children? Many child development researchers believe that the most formative years for children are the first three, which does not bode well for children who are adopted after that age or who live in foster care for a long time.

The family researchers need to perhaps examine families with non-biological parents who have been there all along, (for example a heterosexual couple who needed a sperm or egg donor in order to have a child), and families who adopted a newborn child that was not a blood relative. Would researchers find differences in the well-being of children who were raised in these circumstances versus heterosexual couples who raised their collective biological offspring? My guess is that there would not be much difference, which would go a long way towards defeating the arguments of the anti-gay lobby. It is not fair, logical or scientific to use these arguments against gay parents without also criticising families that deviate from the model of two married, opposite-gender, biological parents with their biological offspring. The lack of criticism towards other family units demonstrates the clear bias of the conservative groups against those individuals whose only crime is an inability to fall in love with the opposite gender. The goal of these moralist and conservative groups is not the protection of the children. Saletan leads the reader to the research that shows that the children are safe. The goal of these moralist groups and family councils is to sabotage the efforts of homosexuals to be able to live as equals under the law.

The obviously weak statements by James Dobson of Focus on the Family that Saletan refers to allows the author to imply that all the arguments of the right-wing moralists are in fact not just arguments against gay marriage, but in fact arguments against single parents, families with a step-parent, adoption, and possibly even foster-care, yet it is only gay parents that they target, even though many other family units have the same "shortcomings". The only male-associated behaviors I can think of that children are likely to miss out on in families with two moms is how to shave facial hair and how to pee standing up. It's tricky to say what issues may potentially arise in families with two fathers. Breast-feeding might become something of an issue. Fortunately, I hear formula is not too hard to obtain.

Saletan mentions that many studies on gay parents are inconclusive because so many people are closeted. On the other hand, how many closeted couples are trying to raise a child together? I can't imagine it is all that common, but we really don't know, because they're closeted. It just doesn't seem that likely. Gay couples who are so stable, out and want to become parents are probably far more prepared to become parents than many young straight couples who dive into pregnancy without a thought for the future. After all, everything has to be planned for very carefully. In an article from Maclean's magazine or Newsweek (probably Maclean's, and within the last year or two, I think), I read that non-standard families are creating legal contracts before conception, which puts into place contingency plans that are designed for the child's best interests in case of death, divorce, accidents and debilitating diseases, as well as setting out the legal obligations of donors as biological parents, as well as non-biological parents. The children who live with such arrangements can well benefit from multiple parental figures. These contracts aren't always made, but it's becoming more common because of the need for sperm/egg donors in order to conceive a child in a gay family.

In response to the conservative argument that non-biological parents are more likely to harm children, Saletan cites numerous studies that found harm caused by non-biological parents is disproportionately caused by males. While this doesn't help gay male couples, it does make lesbian couples look like the perfect potential parents. Are there any studies on abuse cause by exclusively gay males? I didn't think so.

An issue that Saletan understandably does not mention, is that most of the arguments against gay marriage and gay parents are based upon religious doctrine. This makes arguing with anti-gay groups about as much fun as arguing with the anti-evolution groups - religious objections are based on either beliefs or "christian science" - people on opposite sides of the debate are really speaking a different language. Faith and fact are like apples and orangutans.

Saletan's article is well-researched and well-written. Unfortunately, the article is most likely preaching to the converted. It is doubtful that many anti-gay people are going to read this article, and even more unlikely that it will change their mind when they do read it. However, Saletan makes a few good points, and his article is very accessible for his readers. The article would be alot stronger if he tried to find research to disagree with his views, and if he didn't hang gay male parents out to dry. It relies a little too heavily on good writing and not quite enough on strong arguments, but Saletan's analysis are sound, but his position makes his choice of foudational research suspect, since he only reviewed research that seemed to agree with his position. The next time Saletan writes in defense of gay parenting, finding more research that supports the moralists and then analysing it will greatly aid his cause. Otherwise, we'll always keep coming back to the question of whose science do we trust? Ours or theirs?

Friday, September 1st, 2006

[6 outspoken visitors | speak your mind]

Subject:a query.
Posted by:this_bugs_4_you.
Time:2:01 pm.
my significant other and i are in disagreement.  she is applying to get a tourist visa for the states, and we aren't sure if she should show her international credit card at the interview.  (she's an authorized user on my account).  her claim is that having an international credit card makes her look richer, less of a risk to be a burden to the states, etc.  my claim is that if they investigate the account even slightly, they will see that it's linked to me, and decide she has links to the u.s., which would make her a risk to allow in (because she won't want to leave).

any tiebreaking opinions?


Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

[6 outspoken visitors | speak your mind]

Posted by:tofulope.
Time:5:08 pm.
Been lurking for a while, decided to finally introduce myself. I'm Anna, originally from the UK, now living in Wellington, NZ (currently on a student visa), planning to apply for residency on grounds of my relationship with my g/f. I've got it easier than a lot of people as the NZ government recognises same sex relationships on an equal basis and doesn't require a civil union, but still immensely stressful. When I recieved exam results in the mail my first thought was "yay, proof of address for the immigration dept".

I pretty much know the rules inside out (and I haven't even submitted my application yet) so if you have any questions about immigrating to NZ I may be able to help you out.

Thursday, July 13th, 2006

[speak your mind]

Subject:sorry....x-posted an awful lot.
Posted by:this_bugs_4_you.
Time:2:25 pm.
hello folks, newbie post....but i promise i went back and looked through recent posts to see if the answers to my questions were already there :)

under the cut are some random questions about the application process, which i haven't even started yet--still in the gathering documents phase.  i thought i'd also ask...has anyone here done the conjugal partner thing?  where both partners are from different countries outside of canada?  the website makes it look sufficiently possible, but i wonder how common/successful it is.  and in that same vein...i actually get to go be with my partner, JOY, but i'm doing so on random stitched-together tourist visas, not actual legal residence in her country.  do you think our time spent living together like that would count towards that common-law year?  we won't be illegally living anywhere, but we also won't be legal residents--just tourists.

yeah.  ask for clarification if that made no sense at all.

LiveJournal for Same Sex Immigration.

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